Sanctuaries

How to own your happy

“I’ve only really started to understand the power of acceptance and self-love recently”— Fearne.  Why we think happy is an inside job.

BIMINI BON BOULASH: “It’s when I started living for myself”

“Growing up, I tried my hardest to do the things that were kind of societal expectations of me. And it just made me feel so unhappy. And when I started living for myself and kind of rejecting those ideas, that’s when I found happiness within myself and that’s ultimately what we want to strive for. We want to be happy within because then that radiates to other people. And you can then be open and loving and accepting of everyone.”

 

JAMIE OLIVER: “Are you going to try hard? That always helps”

“I’m still flawed like most, I definitely work hard every morning when I get up at the crack of dawn, and look in the mirror and go, ‘Bloody hell. Who’s that? Oh, Christ. Okay. You’re going to be happy today or you’re going to be miserable bastard. Are you going to be optimistic today or a miserable bastard? Are you going to try hard? That always helps. Generally speaking, generally, not always. But I think it’s a choice whether you’re bubbly. Glass half-full or not. And I work hard at that’.”

MEL ROBBINS: What doesn’t work? ‘I’ll be happy when…’

“This thing about, ‘I’ll be happy when… I get that job or I lose that weight.’ The problem with attaching your happiness and your validation and your support to achieving something is that, once you achieve it, you are stuck with the old habit of still hating yourself, and you’re now going to need to find something else to achieve in order to prove that you’re worthy of it, again.

You see, I’ve been an overachiever my whole life because I’ve equated achieving with being worth something. And when you are an overachiever and you think it’s only when you’re achieving something that you are worth loving or celebrating, you will be a jealous motherf**ker. Because everybody else that’s succeeding is now competing with you for the love and for the work that you want.

And part of the reason why you and I are so hard on ourselves is because, at this exact age, kind of between eight and twelve, the experts say we start to beat ourselves up in our inner monologue, because we start to see where we are fitting in and where we’re falling behind and where we don’t fit in and the internal monologue of, oh, well, stay away from those guys because you’re not a sports kid or I can’t do this. I must be stupid. Or why am I never good enough with my homework? Why does the teacher always pick that person? That’s where it begins.”

GABBY BERNSTEIN: “I’ve never felt more peace. I owe all of that to the 15 years of commitment that I’ve made to my personal growth”

“I have been on a devotional, committed journey of undoing the fear-based belief systems that I picked up as a child, which we all do, and reclaiming the space of serenity within myself. I know that all can sound like some spiritual mumbo jumbo, but it’s my devotional commitment in my life. Every single day of my life has been about getting closer to freedom.

I have never felt more at peace, even in the midst of everything that we’re living through and all the uncertainty and even things not happening when I think they should or whatever. I’ve never felt more peace. And I owe all of that to the 15 years of commitment that I’ve made to my personal growth and my spiritual development.”

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